I went to bed with every intention to wake up and have a better day, however that was not the case. I felt bad all over again. My mom so perfectly called me as I was having my moment once again, with her past experience she let me have my moment, however being that she is my mother, she gave me the wonderful motherly advice I needed. I was then able to speak to Jenn who lost Matthew only 2 mo ago, I was reassured once again that the feelings I was having were normal. Thank you Mom and Jenn.
Pam is a military wife who's daughter is suffering from potters syndrome. She is stationed in Alaska away from family, like myself and is dealing with a lot of feelings a mixed emotions. She is the only one I know of right now standing in limbo with me. She is set to deliver 1 week after I do. I emailed her to tell her about my hard time, knowing she would understand thinking she would maybe be going through those same feelings right along with me. However in her reply she said her supportive piece but then told me to just say "f*^% it". She said it's not about anyone right now, but Vayden, and to just spend time with him and enjoy whatever I have with him. She said not to worry and stress over the people who don't yet understand or make it hard for me, she said just stop giving a damn. Have fun with Vayden, make memories and be a normal pregnant woman, not one that feels her belly is a burden.
I took her advice immediately. I got dressed got Vashon dressed, turned my phone on silent and me and my boys went to the zoo. We had a wonderful time, of course until we had to leave and Vashon hit the floor and I had to walk away gracefully. Otherwise I would be in questioning from CPS, lol. After the zoo we got a fat burrito from chipotle and I ate it all in under 10 min ( nothing out of the norm for me, lol)
I'm glad I listened to Pam it was wonderful advice. I didn't cry over Vayden, I enjoyed him and it was a good day. So thank you Pam.
*Above are the pics from today. The 1st pic is Vashon when we left the zoo, he was so mad at me that we had to leave. I was talking to him and he just put his sunglasses on to try to block me out. Take note to how he put them on, lol. I'm 33 weeks along and here is yet another place that Vayden has been so blessed to visit.
*Today I did a double post, so there is also a second post below this one FYI*