Monday, August 10, 2009

I'm at WAR with the devil

In the bible in the story of Job, God and the devil challenged Job's faithfulness to the the Lord. The devil questioned Job's faith fullness in negative times, because Job's life was in a pretty good place. Many casual Christians praise God when the sun is shinning but can give him less praise or turn against him when the rain comes in. I am becoming the modern day story of Job as my faith fullness is being tested time and time again. In the matter of months my life has been turned upside down and all that was well is not anymore. Before we found out about Vayden things were perfect, no debt, happily married, I understood my child, I had a lot to praise God for and I did. Then the awful day came when we found out about the LUTO and it was like ok, there are worst things in the world, I still gave my praises to God, then the day came that we found out that his condition was now fatal. As I felt my baby moving inside of me, I knew that his condition was fatal, but didn't feel like he was taken from me, so there were still reasons to give praise. Then my angel was born and left us almost 4 hrs after birth, this was the moment that the devil was waiting for, he wanted me to curse God for taking my son, and not making him a medical miracle. Instead I gave praise, I praised God for the 3 hrs and 45 min I was able to spend with my son, and I felt that was a miracle, considering how fatal his condition. That pissed the devil off, and I thought he would leave me alone, but he was waiting to see me days, weeks, months after Vayden's death, he assumed that at some point I would turn my back on the Lord and realize that 3 hrs and 45 min is nothing. He even showed me another LUTO baby be born and live, he wanted so badly for me to question myself, and my God. I didn't, I was pleased to see lil Tino survive and I praised God for listening to my prayers as I had been praying for him. That again upset the devil, and then I created My Very Own Angel and tried to provide positive hope to women who suffer a loss, while constantly giving God all the glory for and all the praise, oh yea that pissed him off real bad.

The devil has formed attack against my marriage now. He has turned my spouse against me, he has created a horrible tension in my home and my husband is deploying in two weeks. I am announcing now as I've announced to God and the devil, and let everyone be a witness to this. I WILL NOT STOP LOVING GOD!!!!!!!!!!! Everything and everyone that I love can be taken away from me and I will mourn each, but I will get over it, I will move on, and I WILL continue to always praise God, for he will continue to bless me.

I AM A WOMEN WHO CARRIED TO TERM, LOST HER BABY, AND CAN STILL GET OUT OF BED EVERY DAY, SO PLEASE DON'T MESS WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

13 comments:

  1. Stomp that devil!! Keep walking ON him...and Praising the Lord!!!

    Sorry to hear that he's attacking your marriage. Stay strong.

    We'll be praying for you!!

    ~Blessings,
    Jan

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  2. So sorry to hear that your having marriage problems. You are a strong lady & I pray for you so much just know your in my thoughts daily. Praying for you. Just always remember you did the right thing. HUGS
    Caroline

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  3. Im so sorry you are having marital problems. I will pray for you and your family. You keep stomping that devil down!

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  4. So sorry to hear of this - but, yes, the devil attacks the faithful. I will say a special prayer for you and your family. I am sorry you lost your baby and I am sad about your husband. I pray he turns himself around before he is deployed.You certainly don't need that extra stress.God bless - Sarita sboyette@tx.rr.com

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  5. Call me if you need to talk - I'll email my phone number. I'm sorry you and Van are having issues. Stress does that...it's completely normal. Ian and I have had our ups and downs this year too. God will see you through and I'll be there too. :)

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  6. So sorry you are going through this. Life just isn't easy anymore, is it?
    My husband is deployed right now as well... He'll be back on the 22nd, but the house has been so eerily quiet without him being here on top of the quiet of Wyatt not being here.

    If it makes you feel any better, Joseph and I have our moments too. We both grieve so differently and it's frustrating when one of us don't understand what the other person is needing.

    I hope it gets better for you. If you need anything at all, please don't hesitate to ask. In the meantime, you and your family will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

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  7. The devil fights dirty and he'll use any way to get you. I wish that your marriage was not under fire and I pray that you both can work whatever is going on and come out stronger. Amen to never stop loving God! I totally am with you! Love you lots dear friend. If you need anything or need to chat shoot me an email.

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  8. I'm glad that you can still praise God the way that you do. I wish that I had the same faith that you do.

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  9. You are a strong daughter of God! Don't let satan get you down. He wants you to stop loving God, but you are showing everyone, that you will not stop loving God. And that is AMAZING!

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  10. Thinking about you today....keep walking!!

    Sending love!

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  11. You are a brave lady to express you feelings!
    I'm thankful my marriage hasn't faltered, but my oldest child sure is giving me alot to deal with.She thinks she is grown at 15 years old.I know the devil is using her to try to get me to stop loving God..my daughter is breaking my heart daily with rude comments and her actions are horrible.God loves me and I love Him thats what counts.

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  12. Stay strong mama somtimes in the walk of life the burden of everyday becomes to heavy for one partner to carry and the other has to shoulder more than their half. It's all give and take and sometimes we have to give more than we take. Stay strong for your husband and your family and know that when it gets too tough God will be there to lighten your load.

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  13. I love your attitude. Yes, the enemy tries to mess with us every minute of the day-but he knows Jesus is more powerful! Keep fighting and know that I am out here fighting right alongside you!

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