Wednesday, April 15, 2009

7 weeks......

Hello all, we're back with more info and further updates. My family and I took a 2 week vacation to California and Las Vegas, NV. It was wonderful, greatly needed and we had a blast. We also managed to make some wonderful memories with Vayden which are discussed in the blog post below.

Now it's back to reality, Tick Tock, Tick Tock. We've schedule a date to induce June 5, 2009, that leaves me with 7 weeks hopefully, as we all know babies sick or healthy come when they want to. However I'm hoping my lil guy will stay in the oven that long, the planner in me must have everything ready and everyone here, but like any planned BIG day, something can always go wrong. ( I will be 37 wks that day)

Today my husband and I met with comfort care rep, I was preparing myself for an appointment filled with tears and many "I don't know" answers to her questions. However it was not the case. As lil as I've spoken to my spouse about all this his plan is very much the same as mine. We did hit some dead ends which now I see what needs to be talked about, but all in all we both have the same idea of what we want for Vayden. We both understand his condition and his life expectancy and we're both afraid of the unknown.

I am aware that it's not over until it's over, but like I've said before I'm also aware of the reality of this condition. I've been very clear in my prayers as to what I want and believe that my request will be granted in one of two forms. I am at peace with knowing that God in fact did listen to all of you and will answer our prayers. I must ask that you please be at peace with that also. With 7 weeks left I find that I need to get my behind into gear and get as much done as I can so that I can focus as much time on Vayden when he's born.

Our birth plan is very simple and straight forward. I will deliver vaginally with the use of an epidural so I'm alert and not too tired. Vayden will be immediately placed on my chest for kangaroo care and time with him while he's still attached to the cord and the placenta to me. That will give us a few extra mins with Vayden if born alive, since my placenta is his current life support. We plan to decline any breathing support other than oxygen, but we are going to speak to the neo natalogist next week to see what options are out there and what he thinks would be best. Van is at odds with cutting the cord, on one side it's a bonding memory & at the other side he feels it's him cutting Vayden's life off. We plan to just play it by ear and I hope the lord speaks to him as to what is best at that time. We were told what we're able to do and have and we plan to roll with the punches as we can never set anything in stone until he's born. I plan to take a list of all those things offered for care and memory keepsakes, in the stress of the moment I tend to forget many things. With that list I will have choices of everything available then we can choose what we really want at the time.

I feel a bit numb right now. I think I over prepared myself for this appointment that I knew every single thing they were going to talk about. Hearing someone else say Vayden's name attached with "if born still" or "will soon pass" was like hearing "what time is it?" It will most likely hit me tomorrow and I will cry my eyes out as I replay the conversation today and begin to make plans and get things together. 7 weeks can go by so fast, in my case I hope it takes it's precious time.

As my prayer request is still the same I've added one additional request. TIME. I suppose I can say I'm ok with letting him go home to be with God if needed. Although I still want the chance to meet him alive even if only for a short while. So if you all could continue to stand in agreement in prayer with me for a total and complete healing along with TIME, I would greatly appreciate it. Vayden baby please keep fighting for 7 more weeks until we meet you sweetheart.


  1. Thank you girlie for the update, very well put. Our prayers are continuing and we will include TIME to enjoy our precious 2nd grandson. Vayden has already begun working miracles, some seen and some not yet seen, and will forever be an inspiration. Healing and Miracles still happen, I will not give up hope for a blood brought, WOW miracle. Do all that you can do over the next 7 weeks but take it easy, my flight is booked but can be changed if necessary. Continue in the faith and in being the wonderful mother that you are, you and Van work together to support one another, it's so clear that Vayden is very much loved and so very important and you are protecting him through all of this. Kiss Vashon. We love you deeply.
    Mom and Dad

  2. I'm glad to hear your update. I'm glad you took a vacation. We went on our vacation to Hawaii only a few days after we found out about Carleigh and it's a vacation I will always remember b/c she was with us. I hope these last weeks past slowly for you so you can savor that precious time with him. I thought the time passed too quickly. I had an induction also at 37 wks. I'll be praying everything goes well during that time. It's a very good idea to have a birth plan in these situations. I think they are vital. Ours was very detailed and 3 pages long! But it was important to include everything. You are right-things don't always go as planned but you can rest in the idea that you did everything you could. Better to be more prepared than not prepared at all. I so hope that you get the time that you want. I know every mom in a situation like this prays for time with their baby alive but not all get it. I wasn't one of them. You know, I thought I would be devastated if she wasn't born alive but I wasn't. Really, all that mattered was that she was in my arms. Sure, it would've been nice. The peace that filled the room that day is indescribable. I will continue to pray and I will add to that prayer that you get some very precious time.

  3. I will continue to pray for you. I will agree in prayer with you asking Jesus for time with your precious Vayden. Nothing is impossible for God. "Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, Nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him." 1 Corinthians 2:9

    Carrie LaFollette

  4. I've been thinking of you and praying for you and yours, Stephanie. I've come many times to your site to check on things. It's nice to hear you are doing okay. God's holding you, sweet ones, and there is nothing that compares to His loving embrace! His grace fills us as needed. No one knows us as well as He does nor does anyone love us as much! You and Van are walking out this season of your lives in such a beautiful way... As Carrie wrote above: Nothing is impossible for God. Nothing is impossible with God! Thank you for living out your testimony in this precious way. Your precious Vayden is in loving hands--our Father's and yours.

    In His Amazing Love!
    Sue in Tennessee