I Get It From My Mama

Not just my good lucks, I mean look at her isn’t she a 10?? This woman looks amazing and no she did not have me when she was 18.

Many people have asked me how I am so strong, how am I able to deal with the death of my 2nd son so well. My faith plays a big role in my understanding and healing process, but so does my mother. My mother is my rock; she walked me through my pregnancy with Vashon and was there from diagnosis date to delivery with Vayden. We disagree all the time, but whenever I need her she is there. Sharon and I have similar ways on how we handle life’s curve balls.

I must have been about 9 and my brother 11 when my dad got sick. Unexpectedly this came about and gradually his condition got worse, by the time I was 12 my father was basically living in the hospital. My mother worked full time, was my father’s best patient advocate and still a mother of two, she was the glue that kept our family together. The best thing she ever did for my brother and I, was let us be kids, we never knew how sick our father was, never had to worry about medical bills, never worried about dinner, my brother never had to step up and take care of me, and we never had to pay for my mom’s exhaustion or daily worries, she never flipped out or lost her cool with us around. Our lives were as normal as they could have been minus our dad being in and out the hospital, I can only count on one hand the amount of times I saw her cry. I’m sure she had someone to talk with, someone to cry to, but she didn’t use her kids as support, instead she used us as a reason to keep going and she knew we had a lot of life ahead of us. She handled my father’s illness with inspirational strength and grace. I recognize this now because I am a mother and I have been faced with an adult issue that I could easily bring Vashon into, forcing him to grow up too soon. When I was pregnant with Vayden and knew that his prognosis was bleak, I remember telling myself “Vashon must remain a child through all of this, no matter how hard it is for me. “ I thank my mother for taking on such a huge load, and being sensitive to how pure being young is. She knew we had to grow up one day and take on loads of our own, but she always let us have what some people never experience and what no one can ever get back…………. a childhood.

“Mom, I always knew you were an amazing mom, but it truly took losing Vayden to understand why you did what you did as far as putting up the child protectors. I know how hard it must have been for you during that time, dealing with children is hard enough, but adding a life changing curve ball makes it seem almost impossible. When my days are long and my heart aches for Vayden, I remind myself that Vayden is well taken care of and I owe Vashon the same childhood you gave me and Terron.”

I’ve said thank you many times but this time I really get it, so Thank You Mom