Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Look at this photograph

I'm vacationing in California for a few weeks at my parents house. Vashon is their 1st grandchild but no longer their only. Needless to say their house is like a shrine dedicated to Vashon, pictures are everywhere. This is my 1st time being home after losing Vayden and I was pleasantly surprised to see that Vayden has his own lil shrine of pictures too.

My mother hangs photos of Vashon from birth to his current age (2 yrs) and swaps them out frequently. It's nice to look at a photo of Vashon when he was 3 mo old and then another when he was 13 mo old right next to it. I walked around their house looking at all the changes that Vashon has made in just 2 short years. Then I got to Vayden's photos and realized that his shrine would never change, my mother will never swap out the 6 mo photo for the 22 mo photo. It hit me that all of his photos will be of him being 3 hrs and 45 min old.

As I type this I'm looking at two picture frames on the computer desk, one of Vashon when he was only 2 mo old and one of Vayden a few hours after he passed. I look to my right and I see Vashon my now 2 yr old sleeping on the couch, but I do not see my what would be now 3.5 mo old Vayden.

As I look at this photograph I can remember everything from 5/23/2009 I can re play the story like it was yesterday, but as I look at this photograph my eyes get a lil watery because I know that this photograph will never be swapped out for a picture of Vayden at a later age.


9 comments:

  1. A cute photo of Vayden with the comfort bear. It's hard to know those photos will never change. Your baby will never grow up. I'm glad that there are photos up of Vayden. :) I like walking into other people's houses (like family) and seeing a picture of Carleigh sittin around.

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  2. What a beautiful picture. Vayden is perfect and you can see that in the picture.

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  3. Vayden is just beautiful. He just looks angelic. I know how you feel, I hate that I do, but we're all on this road together. Stay strong!

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  4. Such a beautiful image of Vayden. ((HUGS))

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  5. So very beautiful & Lots of Hugs
    Caroline

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  6. Your Vayden is just beautiful. It's so crazy how new realizations flood our lives after such a loss. It's so hard. But it is nice to have someone else hang up pictures of him, he is loved and remembered.

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  7. Such a sweet beautiful baby boy...I'm so sorry for your heart (((HUGS))) my dear friend.

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  8. He was just beautiful. I can so relate to this post, my heart broke the first time after Peyton's funeral when I saw no pictures of her on the mantle. As time has gone on, my parents have put her pictures all over the house (I think at first they didnt know if it would upset me) and it breaks my heart to know that those are the only photos of her we will ever have. Its heartbreaking... I feel for you.

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