Through My Mothers Eyes ...... Vayden's Story: I Will Never Be Her

Saturday, August 14, 2010

I Will Never Be Her

Today I went to a baby shower for a friend, and although I'm just a few months behind her in my pregnancy I will never be her. I'm glad that Vayden's baby brother is 100% healthy and I do have high hopes for this pregnancy, it's delivery and him...but worry does present itself every now and then. I will never be that new mother so excited and worry free.

I met another mother who told me that 4 weeks before her only daughter was to be born after having two boys her husband got the old snip snip. 4 weeks BEFORE the baby was here, all I could think is how brave they were to take such a permanent step before the baby was born. With all that I know now I'm pretty much against surgical birth control and I'll never be her either.

I always love the woman that buys the bedding and all the clothes, removes the tags and tosses the receipts before the baby is born.........Sure I have clothes and I know what bed set I want, but because I will never be her, I've been procrastinating buying it.

I Will Never Be Her

9 comments:

CarolineAugust 14, 2010 at 8:41 PM
I don't think I will ever be her either. At one time before I lost but now I'm so very different. Life is so very precious.

Caroline
ReplyDelete
Replies
~LAugust 14, 2010 at 11:32 PM
It's disheartening that that kind of joy is stolen from certain mothers. Oh what it must be like to have a "care-free" pregnancy. And I feel the same way about surgical birth control!
ReplyDelete
Replies
AlaytheaAugust 15, 2010 at 6:05 AM
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete
Replies
Sean and SierraAugust 15, 2010 at 9:39 AM
You can never be her because you are a special and beautiful type of mother. A mother who truly understands the term, "I just want a healthy baby". You don't take anything in your pregnancy for granted. And she can never be you. Because she doesn't know what it's like to be the mother of an angel. =)
ReplyDelete
Replies
JillAugust 15, 2010 at 5:01 PM
I will never be her either. I totally get it. xx
ReplyDelete
Replies
Tears in NovemberAugust 16, 2010 at 11:58 AM
Right there with you. I'm not her either. I can't bring myself to buy anything as well. Until I know everything is OK I think she will only have the diaper on her bottom that the hospital puts on her!
ReplyDelete
Replies
Kelly @ Sufficient Grace MinistriesAugust 19, 2010 at 6:31 AM
I will never be her, either...Being her was taken from me long ago. But, as you know, God will enable us to be us...with all of the grace we need to do it. And, being you, is really a beautiful gift...
ReplyDelete
Replies
HollyAugust 19, 2010 at 5:14 PM
It's never the same that's for sure.
ReplyDelete
Replies
AngelaAugust 28, 2010 at 5:14 PM
I am so with you Steph I have 8 weeks to go and I have only just now bought the crib and about had a panic attack setting it up.

It will never be the same sadly they are so brave getting fixed for good. I would have been so sad had we done that with Ethan and then losing him never have been able to have another
ReplyDelete
Replies

Add comment

What is a Lower Urinary Tract Obstruction (LUTO)?

Fetal lower urinary tract obstruction (LUTO) is a rare condition that is caused by a blockage of fetal urination. Because the baby cannot empty the bladder, the baby’s bladder subsequently becomes very large and inflated. Also, because the amniotic fluid is essentially composed of the baby’s urine beyond the middle of the second trimester, the bag of waters dries up. A cascade of secondary effects result in significant morbidity and/or mortality for the baby. This includes problems to the urinary collection system (hydronephrosis) and kidneys (renal dysplasia) attributed to the backpressure from the urinary blockage. Underdevelopment of the lungs (pulmonary hypoplasia) develops from the lack of amniotic fluid during a critical time of the pregnancy.
The cause of fetal LUTO is varied. The most common cause in male fetuses is posterior urethral valves (membrane blocks the flow of urine from the bladder). Oligohydramnios (low amniotic fluid volume defined as the maximum vertical pocket less that or equal to 2.0 centimeters) may then develop, and is associated with a worse prognosis. In females the most common cause is urethral atresia (a body orifice or passage in the body is abnormally closed or absent). Other causes of fetal LUTO include but are not limited to obstructive ureterocele (area between the tube that carries urine from the kidneys to the bladder), urethral stricture (abnormal narrowing of the urethra) or agenesis (absence of), persistent cloaca (a defect in which the rectum, vagina, and urinary tract are fused together into a single common channel), and megalourethra (congenital dilation of the urethra). The ultrasound findings of many of these conditions are similar, and it is often difficult to differentiate the cause of the urinary obstruction until after delivery.
Because there are different causes of LUTO, the prognosis can be expected to be different depending on the individual diagnosis. However, a major component that dictates perinatal outcome is the secondary complications of the obstruction (renal dysplasia and pulmonary hypoplasia). To prevent these complications, several methods have been developed to bypass the blockage of urine while the baby is still in the womb, with the hope that the backpressure on the kidneys can be averted and the amniotic fluid volume may replenish to allow for more normal lung development.
Frequency
Significant lower urinary tract obstruction can be found in 1 in 500 pregnancies.

http://www.fetalhope.org/fetal-lower-urinary-tract-obstruction-luto.html

Just a few of the Wonderful Comments ppl have left

you are VERY welcome...i know everything will work out.if anyone is strong enough its you. i would have done anything. and Vashon was wonderful! miracles happen all the time and remember things happen so you can learn from them. You know how stubborn Vashon was when you were pregnant with him and look at him now.Don't stress...i have faith!!! its gonna work out! you know i would do anything for you!i love you! see you tomorrowtext me if you need anything!
Posted by kim. on Wednesday, January 21, 2009 -

I am sure everything will be ok. We are praying for ya'll. I am sure everything will work because that is the only way Zaire and Zahara is going out. With Vashon and ???(Stewart give that lil man his own name)....Plus, if they try anything funny with my girls' I get can you and Stewart to whooping them. On the real. Keep praying, I am sure the Lord's will will be done. Call us if ya'll need anything. Love ya'll....Quince family.....

I Just want to tell you...that you are so inspiring to me...as a young first time mom...I can look up to strong women like you!! Your beautiful and strong faith in our Lord and savior only strengthens my relationship and walk with God. I hope you know you have touched my life with your passion. I am praying for you, your family and your precious lo TIFFYB20

Your words, as hard as I'm sure they are for you to write, are truly inspirational. You are so beautiful and strong and amazing. I continue to pray for you, your son and your family. May God bless all of you. LYNDSAYWVU
I agree, you are an incredibly inspirational woman. I will continue to pray for you and your family. God works miracles. That little guy just may be one. We've missed you too. Remember we are all here when you need us. MALIBUALR

I can't describe how I feel when I read this. On one hand I am truly inspired at how well you are handling this and what a faithful person you are and on the other hand my heart is just breaking. Thanks for keeping us posted. I think about you all the time. BABYSU

I am crying reading your post but that doesnt mean I have lost faith. The reasons and the will of God will be made clear to you and it will take all of your energy,strength, understanding, love, and support, to get through this but I have no doubt you will, no doubt at all. Deep meditative prayer will guide to what you will need to do whats best for your baby and yourself and your family. BABYPHAT2008

I just have to say again that you are an amazing woman BrownSugar. Anybody who knows you is very lucky to have you in their lives :) ISLANDMUM

I applaud your strength and admire your courage. You are in essence the quintessential example of what a mother truly is. I am sending you love and strength of spirit. SKIP23

I am in tears for you. There are just no words. Vayden is a very special boy and so lucky to be loved so tremendously. You have every right to feel the way you do. Nobody can know what it's like to have to make such a difficult decision until it happens to them but you continue to show a tremendous amount of strength and love for your Vayden. I don't even know you but my heart aches so badly for you. You and Vayden are and will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. DMOMMY2BE

Im sorry that you have to go through this...nothing we tell you can make you feel better and I definitely understand why u don't wanna hear the "GOD stuff" I wouldn't wanna hear it either especially because I've never understood the fact that he put the ability in us to have children then takes them away so easily..I'm sorry I usually never pray but I will tonight for you. WNDRLNDCHICK

I agree with everyone you are very strong momma, hold this little one tight while you have him. I will be praying for you & for strength.. I saw this and thought I would share incase you havn't seen it.. ***An angel opened the book of life and wrote down your baby's birth. Then she closed the book and whispered: "too beautiful for earth". ~author unknown *** I know this is a sad sad thing.. you have every right to be angry.. Please remember we love you, and you can vent or cry or just talk whenever you need us.. we WILL be here for you.. always. MOMMACLARK

MommaClark, that quote you found is truly the best thing I've heard so far aside from my mother telling me that Vayden is going to be up there taken care of by a wonderful woman who was never able to have children. But it brought me to happy tears and I will stick with the for the remainder of the pregnancy and following letting him go home BROWNSUGAR07 aka Stephanee (me)

Through My Mothers Eyes ...... Vayden's Story

Saturday, August 14, 2010

I Will Never Be Her

9 comments:

A Mothers Love Will Never Die

Grab My Button

The Stewart Family 2009

About Me

31 weeks Waiting with Vayden

Blog Archive

What is a Lower Urinary Tract Obstruction (LUTO)?

Vayden with his parents

Other Families Affected By LUTO or PUV

Helpful Webisties

Followers

You are safe with God

Just a few of the Wonderful Comments ppl have left

Other Blogs I Follow

Through My Mothers Eyes ...... Vayden's Story

Saturday, August 14, 2010

I Will Never Be Her

9 comments:

A Mothers Love Will Never Die

Grab My Button

The Stewart Family 2009

About Me

31 weeks Waiting with Vayden

Blog Archive

What is a Lower Urinary Tract Obstruction (LUTO)?

Vayden with his parents

Other Families Affected By LUTO or PUV

Helpful Webisties

Followers

You are safe with God

Just a few of the Wonderful Comments ppl have left

Other Blogs I Follow

Subscribe To Vayden's Blog