Wednesday, May 22, 2013

4th Bithday......Already

It's hard to believe that it has been 4 yrs since Vayden was born.I miss him so much, have been so busy and he has brought so many wonderful things to my life and my ability to support other infant loss families. What was once an online support has grown into a paid position with a wonderful non profit organization, I get to help families who suffer a loss as a job, and while some people may say "I don't know how you find that exciting" I say, "I get to show another woman, that even though she feels like she's going to die, even though right now she wants to die, she will not die. She will not die because I didn't die, and that's what makes this the best job ever"  I get to show people how to walk the journey, and the best part of it is when they ask "how do you know?" I can reply "because I did it already".

This job is so special because my story is my training, my heart makes me the ideal candidate for the job and my boss and the rest of the staff I work with love me, believe in my and most of all love Vayden.

4 years seems like a long time, so much has changed since 2009. We've added a member to our family, lost some loved ones, and our biggest change was our most recent move from Moore, OK to California. Man am I glad that I fought to have Vayden cremated. I would have been so broken hearted leaving him behind in OKC. I seriously never thought we would leave Oklahoma, but that is the life of the USAF.

While you all wish Vayden a 4th Heavenly Birthday, please remember and keep in your thoughts and prayers the city of Moore, OK. That tornado was seriously heartbreaking and Moore was our home for many years.

Happy 4th Vayden, I know the color of love and it lives inside of you.



  1. So much love for you today, Stephanie. I was a June '09 BabyFit mom too, and you and Vayden have been on my mind lately as I'm now pregnant with #2. When my sono showed he had a two-vessel cord (and of course the tech told me nothing else), I became concerned for his kidneys, which often are affected as well, and I remembered Vayden's story, wondering if it were the same condition. Thankfully, my midwife confirmed everything else on the sono is perfectly normal and she's not worried about this at all, but it had me finding your blog this weekend, just in time to realize Vayden's 4th was coming up this week. I've kept the tab open for the last few days waiting for your post. <3 I'm glad to hear you and your family are doing well and had left Moore before the tornado struck. Vayden was definitely looking out for you. :)

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