Vayden wants to share some news.

Our angel has been looking after us, he put a special request in to God and we are blessed to know that this baby has been blessed and touched by an angel. Vayden is going to have a little brother. To Grow Up a Stewart I got rid of the blog I was keeping for our rainbow baby and decided to make a general family blog which I would include updates on our current pregnancy as well as Vashon and just our family.

Vayden's blog is not going anywhere, if you only want to know about our pregnancy just click the pregnancy labels and that will take you to all the pregnancy post. Thank you all for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers.

Vashon Needed His Brother

Today marks 14 months for Vayden being in Heaven. We are now 14 months behind schedule of having a complete family, we may never have that "complete" family.


Last night I was sitting on the computer and Vashon was playing in the living room, I over heard him having a conversation with either himself or an imaginary friend. I know that, that is very common for kids his age so it didn't freak me out, but it did make me a little sad. I hate that he has to talk to himself when he could have very well been able to talk with Vayden. I still get upset at how perfect their age gap was, how my two boys would probably fight, but also be the best of friends. I sometime don't have the energy or understanding to play some of the crazy games Vashon wants to play, Vayden would have been perfect to play with him. Even though Vashon is going to get another brother or sister, he still has to wait at least another year for the baby to be any fun, that adds another year to Vashon's age and I fear that he will find the baby too young or immature.

I still think about Vayden daily but my heart doesn't ache for him as often, I think I'm in the process now of grieving for Vashon, he doesn't know how much Vayden would mean to him now, but I do.

My pregnancy is progressing well and I'm 1 week away from the BIG u/s. I have so many feelings about that but will write about it in my other blog.



Happy 14th month sweet Vayden James, Mommy loves you